(click on photo for source)Monday, May 31, 2010
Styles From The Darjeeling Limited
Via gofugyourself.com, I found this link to Design Sponge, where some of the items that make the Wes Anderson film so cool are laid out for us to covet (and buy).
Astronauts Take The Best Pictures
(click on photo for source)For perspective, you are looking south at the coasts of France and Italy, with Italy on the left side of the picture. That's the moonlight reflected in the water!
You Call It "Strength" of Trees, I Call It CREEPINESS
Can't you just hear them going "NOM NOM NOM" in an evil voice?
Click here for more "Amazing Power of Trees."
Click here for more "Amazing Power of Trees."
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
15 Grossly Misleading Movie Posters
Cracked has finally stopped talking about all that LOST shit. Back to our regular trivia programming!
#13:
More at the source.
#13:
More at the source.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Fancy Burgers
Click on the photo for more delicious pictures to drool over. There is a video about pork-fennel burgers, and interesting discussion about crab burgers. Yum yum!
Ed Hardy Condom
(click for source)Just think of this as a worst-case scenario opt-out. You met a guy, he happened to be wearing clothes that were deceivingly normal, you didn't see any gold chains...he had a beer, you had a beer, then a couple more...it all seemed to be going well...until you got to his place and maybe the leopard furniture didn't jump out at you immediately (it was dark), and maybe the case of ZIMA on the table didn't catch your attention (you were already wasted).
And then...he took out a box of condoms that said "Christian Audigier" on them, and you found yourself saying out loud, "Isn't that that guy..." and then you looked at the dude you were with, and suddenly it dawned on you! That your sneaking suspicion he came from Jersey was in fact correct! That you were about to have sex with a guy who actually took the time and pride to buy Ed Hardy condoms!
It was your moment of clarity...your moment of salvation. It was a close one, but you made it. And you'd never make the mistake again.
And then...he took out a box of condoms that said "Christian Audigier" on them, and you found yourself saying out loud, "Isn't that that guy..." and then you looked at the dude you were with, and suddenly it dawned on you! That your sneaking suspicion he came from Jersey was in fact correct! That you were about to have sex with a guy who actually took the time and pride to buy Ed Hardy condoms!
It was your moment of clarity...your moment of salvation. It was a close one, but you made it. And you'd never make the mistake again.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Mark Twain's Lover Brought Him Vibrators
Mark Twain asked that his memoirs be published 100 years after he died, so that his friends wouldn't be offended by all the slagging off (apparently, his last few years sucked, and he got rather grumpy).
You can read the article here, but let me save you the trouble of sifting through four whole paragraphs: the best part of the story is that "[his secretary and lover] Lyon and Twain were so close she liked to buy him vibrators."
Vibrators.
Seeing as how the man had this affair not long before his death in *1910*, I can only assume that "vibrator" means something other than what I think it means. I'll let your mind run wild.
You can read the article here, but let me save you the trouble of sifting through four whole paragraphs: the best part of the story is that "[his secretary and lover] Lyon and Twain were so close she liked to buy him vibrators."
Vibrators.
Seeing as how the man had this affair not long before his death in *1910*, I can only assume that "vibrator" means something other than what I think it means. I'll let your mind run wild.
Freaky Clouds Do Not Look Like Boobs
No offense (but really, yes offense) to Mr. Jerry Stone, who wrote that these clouds look like boobs ("Clouds That Look Like...Boobs"): have you even seen boobs before?
I mean, the above picture looks more like a party of ball sacks in the sky. At most, I'd say they were lumpy butts, if you really wanted to make a sexual analogy.
And if you think the below looks like boobs, then you probably just really want to see them.
NOT BOOBS
I mean, the above picture looks more like a party of ball sacks in the sky. At most, I'd say they were lumpy butts, if you really wanted to make a sexual analogy.And if you think the below looks like boobs, then you probably just really want to see them.
NOT BOOBSWhen Criminals Get Smart
I'm not condoning crime or anything, but I have to admit what this guy did is pretty awesome:
(CLICK PHOTO TO PLAY)I hope they had a fun time trying to get the evidence after it already made way through his colon.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Thank you, NASA
As jaded as I think most people are by the plethora of awesome photos being generated every day by trusty ol' Hubble Telescope, there are still some images that have the potential to knock our socks off.
Mars is dead and uninhabitable, but once upon a time, before dinosaurs were even shitting their diapers, it had some water on it and probably looked like a bad ass sibling of Earth.
Here's one of the 15 Most Spectacular Photos of Mars by NASA:
Mars is dead and uninhabitable, but once upon a time, before dinosaurs were even shitting their diapers, it had some water on it and probably looked like a bad ass sibling of Earth.
Here's one of the 15 Most Spectacular Photos of Mars by NASA:
Your Worst Nightmare
(click photo for source)Worse is when you know you've forgotten to do something, but at the end of the day, tired and not motivated enough to remember what it is, you decide to rationalize: how important can it be if I forgot what it was? Until you wake up the next morning to realize your bank has raped you in the butt for forgetting to pay a bill. Adult nightmares are scarier.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Food-Themed Art Gallery
Here in LA, "Hungry for Art" explores the "relationship between us and food in society."
(by artist Scott Hove)
This particular work probably represents a wolf with a sweet tooth for babies. A wolf who was inadvertently made into a wall decoration after going after the wrong baby. Chuck Norris's progeny, I assume.
(by artist Scott Hove)This particular work probably represents a wolf with a sweet tooth for babies. A wolf who was inadvertently made into a wall decoration after going after the wrong baby. Chuck Norris's progeny, I assume.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
14 Foods That Haven't Yet Been Invented
From the Village Voice:
The most exciting, and most likely to be invented soon:
#11. Bagel French toast - Bagels are so dense and thickly crusted, they don't make their way into French toast. Besides, they're breakfast already. But why not break out of the box by slicing them thinly, soaking them forever in egg wash, and making them into French toast? Now you're thinking like a foodie!
We already found thinly-sliced bagels at our local Ralph's, so this is half-way invented already! Seems easy enough.
Everything else on the list...I think I'll pass. Except for the pocket watermelon. That sounds pretty cool. Though, honestly people, just chop the damn watermelon into squares yourself.
The most exciting, and most likely to be invented soon:
#11. Bagel French toast - Bagels are so dense and thickly crusted, they don't make their way into French toast. Besides, they're breakfast already. But why not break out of the box by slicing them thinly, soaking them forever in egg wash, and making them into French toast? Now you're thinking like a foodie!
We already found thinly-sliced bagels at our local Ralph's, so this is half-way invented already! Seems easy enough.
Everything else on the list...I think I'll pass. Except for the pocket watermelon. That sounds pretty cool. Though, honestly people, just chop the damn watermelon into squares yourself.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Camouflaging Dog Hair
I like this photo because it reminds me of the first time I cut my own hair. I was four, my hair was blond, our rug was blond, and I had scissors within reaching distance. I thought nobody would ever find out. You know, until they actually laid their eyes on me.
Astronomy Photo of the Day
The large crescent belongs to the moon. The tiny one belongs to Venus. Astronomy is amazing.
Yours truly, proud space nerd.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Inbox of Your Dreams
And my ideal inbox, since I'm not interested in having a penis in the first place, let alone a big one:
33 Pictures Caught at Exactly the Right Moment
From ChicagoNow.com via Digg:
That's the #2 picture. I invite you to look at #3...which I'd rather not re-post. It involves the human body having bad, bad things done to it. Fascinating and revolting at once.
That's the #2 picture. I invite you to look at #3...which I'd rather not re-post. It involves the human body having bad, bad things done to it. Fascinating and revolting at once.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
White Castle-Scented Candle
The founder of Nest Fragrances, the company that concocted this fast food candle, stated: "When I think of truly superior aromas, I think of the aroma of a freshly grilled White Castle hamburger."
Superior food? Uh, no. Superior aroma? I highly doubt it. Superior advertising and smell-induced-brainwashing? I'd say so! We can't taste food without a sense of smell, and marketing that idea was truly ingenious. But this kind of stunt approaches evil corporate proportions, seeing as how stores already utilize over-reaching odors in malls to suck you in... and because I'm concerned as a highly suggestible foodie citizen.
Donut on TV? I need one. A plate of lasagna in a magazine? That's what we're having for dinner. White Castle-scented candle in my room? Well, we don't have one around here, but we're going to In N' Out.
There's no doubt going to be a limit to the rate of return on the candle magic when people get sick of smelling and eating White Castle on a daily basis. But if we're going forward with this fusion of household items and food in marketing, may I ask that someone finally invent 3D Food for my TV? The Food Network would be so much more enjoyable. Because I can hear the "pitchiness" on American Idol, but I can't taste the over-salted soup on Iron Chef!
Superior food? Uh, no. Superior aroma? I highly doubt it. Superior advertising and smell-induced-brainwashing? I'd say so! We can't taste food without a sense of smell, and marketing that idea was truly ingenious. But this kind of stunt approaches evil corporate proportions, seeing as how stores already utilize over-reaching odors in malls to suck you in... and because I'm concerned as a highly suggestible foodie citizen.
Donut on TV? I need one. A plate of lasagna in a magazine? That's what we're having for dinner. White Castle-scented candle in my room? Well, we don't have one around here, but we're going to In N' Out.
There's no doubt going to be a limit to the rate of return on the candle magic when people get sick of smelling and eating White Castle on a daily basis. But if we're going forward with this fusion of household items and food in marketing, may I ask that someone finally invent 3D Food for my TV? The Food Network would be so much more enjoyable. Because I can hear the "pitchiness" on American Idol, but I can't taste the over-salted soup on Iron Chef!
Friday, May 7, 2010
Woman Claims Pregnancy Was Caused By 3D Porn
http://www.popjolly.com/woman-says-she-became-pregnant-after-watching-porn-in-3d-365
And her poor, heartbroken husband decided to (needed to!) believe her incredible alibi. I mean, his own wife? A nice white lady? Sleep with a black guy? No way, Jose! Even though the black actor in the movie turned her on enough that she went and saw a freakin' 3D porno with his shlong in it. First time seeing a porno, huh? That's like me saying I've never been on a farm, and then going to visit one for the first time and milking every cow like a pro.
Also, from my experience watching porn, the guy usually has a happy ending all over his partner's happy face. And even in *magical* and potent 3D land, that's not how fertilization works. You see, there are holes in her story if you just look hard enough, eh guys?
What amazes me the most, aside from her choice of cover story, is that she let this get out to the media. I don't know how far in denial she is if she's willing to convince other people that she's serious about this whole "technology implanted a baby into me" thing.
I secretly hope she pursues this case and asks the actor for a DNA sample. It's the logical thing to do.
P.S. I wish I hadn't looked up "3D Porn" on Google Images just now.
P.P.S. Are there porno movies playing in 3D right now? Do those exist??
Thursday, May 6, 2010
The Coolest/Nerdiest Umbrella In the World
Technically, it's called a "Rain Drum." You can't fold it like a regular umbrella, but if you can't go for two seconds without music (or in this case, massive drumming) in your ears, this is the toy for you.
(click photo for source)
Thai Food Porn: Beyond Pad Thai
No worries, your beloved Pad Thai is still on the list at #33 in CNN's "40 Thai Foods We Can't Live Without."
Hunter S. Thompson "signs" a TV Contract
And by "signs" I mean he defaces it.
(click to enlarge, though all you really need to see is the "BALLS")
(click to enlarge, though all you really need to see is the "BALLS")Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Man Lives 70 Years Without Eating or Drinking
Read about him in UK's Telegraph.
I bet you he sleep-eats. Otherwise, I have to go and reflect on my spiritual/psychological inability to stay away from the fridge for more than half an hour. Apparently, it's possible to not have constant access to snacks.
I bet you he sleep-eats. Otherwise, I have to go and reflect on my spiritual/psychological inability to stay away from the fridge for more than half an hour. Apparently, it's possible to not have constant access to snacks.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Chimpanzee Male Vs. Human Male: Macking on the Ladies
Guys today have a lot of tools at their disposal to attract the ladies. "Tool" being the operative word, because the tool hitting on you at the bar is trying to get you to sit on his tool later that night. Anyway, the instrument he chooses to woo you with might be a drink, or if you're into the sugar daddy thing, it might be his gold watch or a brand new iPhone 5000GS (or whatever it's going to be tomorrow).
Imagine for a minute that this wooing device is actually a dead leaf and the human tool sitting there trying to get your attention is ripping the leaf into strips, letting them fall to the floor while he stares at you. Creepy, huh? Now imagine the dude without his pants on, sitting at the bar with his legs wide open... and what's that... yes, a giant erection! Sexy, huh?
Well, if you can't appreciate it, the chimpanzee female certainly can. That's what those crazy primate kids do before getting in on! In fact, unlike your hypothetical reaction of running away while poking your eyes out, your chimpanzee counterpart would mull over the offer before deciding to "approach and present her back side."
As John Tierney from the New York Times writes: “He’s using a portable object to obtain a goal. In this case, the goal is not food but mating. Put that way, you might see this chimp as the equivalent of a human (wearing pants, one hopes) trying to attract women by driving around with a car thumping out 120-decibel music. But until researchers are able to find a woman who admits to being anything other than annoyed by guys in boom cars, these human tools must be considered evolutionary dead ends."
You hear that, douches? Your loud unz-unz-unz music is like the unsuccessful version of shredding leaves. Even scientists don't believe that you will get laid that way.
Source
Imagine for a minute that this wooing device is actually a dead leaf and the human tool sitting there trying to get your attention is ripping the leaf into strips, letting them fall to the floor while he stares at you. Creepy, huh? Now imagine the dude without his pants on, sitting at the bar with his legs wide open... and what's that... yes, a giant erection! Sexy, huh?
Well, if you can't appreciate it, the chimpanzee female certainly can. That's what those crazy primate kids do before getting in on! In fact, unlike your hypothetical reaction of running away while poking your eyes out, your chimpanzee counterpart would mull over the offer before deciding to "approach and present her back side."
As John Tierney from the New York Times writes: “He’s using a portable object to obtain a goal. In this case, the goal is not food but mating. Put that way, you might see this chimp as the equivalent of a human (wearing pants, one hopes) trying to attract women by driving around with a car thumping out 120-decibel music. But until researchers are able to find a woman who admits to being anything other than annoyed by guys in boom cars, these human tools must be considered evolutionary dead ends."
You hear that, douches? Your loud unz-unz-unz music is like the unsuccessful version of shredding leaves. Even scientists don't believe that you will get laid that way.
Source
Food Porn Daily
Essentially, Muppley is morphing into Food & Sex News anyway, so here's a link to Food Porn. Enjoy.
On a side note, my dream job would be to eat food and take pictures of it. Spread the word.
On a side note, my dream job would be to eat food and take pictures of it. Spread the word.
Newspaper Revenge
Pranking your boss on the day you're quitting is one thing... but when the whole company's going under, you might as well prank the hell out of everyone!
(click photo for source)
(click photo for source)In case you are not attuned to dirty words, those columns spell out PENIS.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)