Hetero American Women Would Sleep With Zooey Deschanel

Esquire asked: If you are/were a lesbian, which of these women would you most want to sleep with?
And Zooey Deschanel came out the winner.

Although, in my humble hetero female opinion, I would much rather use Zooey for movie nights or shopping for impossibly hipster dresses. She's just way too brainy and cute to seriously confuse my sexuality even for a minute.

Megan Fox, the overrated bombshell of Manland, would probably live up to her reputation just to keep it going. And you know she'd want to be on top.

Beyonce doesn't seem all that fun unless you're into really expensive dinners and sitting in a VIP lounge and not dancing. I'd have to be careful not to ruin her weave.

I don't know who Minka Kelly is, but she's definitely not for doing girls. I mean, look at her - she's the girl on the survey who answered "true" to "True or False: It's okay for a woman to use her sexuality to get a table at a restaurant." I'm not against the concept either, but you know she bats her lashes for pretty much everything.

If these were the options I got, I would just pencil in "ScarJo." She can't act, but she can out-sex any of these twinkies.